(no subject)

[straightrhodes]

ღ God, I fucking suck. I'm sorry I have so totally failed when it comes to posting and commenting and shit. I actually do usually read everyone's entries, but something about commenting or even replying to my own comments just seems so hard. Which is so utterly ridiculous. Somehow just getting up the motivation to do anything that requires putting my thoughts down in coherent words is completely beyond me it seems.

ღ That segues nicely in to my topic: grieving fucking sucks. You know that five stages of grief idea? Yeah, that's complete and utter bullshit. DON'T BELIEVE IT~

I'll tell you how grief works.

You'll be completely fine one minute, and then you're totally blindsided by this overwhelming feeling of sad. It's not even sorrow because that's the first couple weeks when everything in the world makes you cry. This isn't sharp like that. Just a bone deep feeling of sadness that's always waiting for a quiet moment to sneak up and wrap around your heart so all you feel is 'I miss them. I hate this. I wish they were here.'. So you never want those quiet moments. You try to stay busy and distracted because if you sit and you think you just get drowned in all these feelings.

Feelings suck.

And you know, sometimes it still doesn't seem real. And it's not denial. I know it's real and she's gone and I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or hug her again.

The days just keep marching on and before you even realize it you're building a new life without them because it never stops even when they're gone.

Shit. I didn't mean for this to be all about my mom again.

ღ So since I'm having such trouble with my writing I'm thinking about trying to write for some of the Kink Memes that are around. I probably would not be writing the actual kinky stuff, because I think I would die of spontaneous combustion should I try, but maybe trying to write short little things for prompts will get me back in the creative mood. Do any of you have any prompts for me? I'll write for Suits, Sherlock, White Collar, KHR, and a handful of other things. Mostly Gen.

ღ School is going well. I'm liking Italian, even if I can't roll my r's.

ღ I'll be going to SugoiCon in November. I just booked my room. I'm so excited but I'm not sure I'll be cosplaying this year.

Comments

[pennin-ink.livejournal.com]

So I'm useless with serious stuff, but give me something inane and I'm your girl!

With Italian, don't worry. I couldn't roll my r's either, in fact I still can't. There are Italians who can't. But if you don't think about it, and instead just sort of let the words form in your mouth, sometimes it'll come through on its own. Nowadays I can roll "buon giorno" seven times out of ten, and I'm even starting to experience occasional success with rolling my r's when I'm not actually using words, just going "rrrrrrrrr" with my tongue. It's rare that it works, and it's taken about four years of practice to get it, but hey. I'm proud of me.

Now I can even roll English words, not unlike Benedict Cumberbatch or Roger Allam, which makes me giddy. I never say "forty" anymore without rolling the r bit. It's fun! Forrrrrty!

A good way to start is by sort of half-replacing the R with a D. It's not perfect, but if you're talking quickly and putting all the stresses where they go, it sounds pretty damn close. Soon you'll be rattling off phrases like "Vado al teatro con il mio regazzo sabato sera" and making your Italian professor look at you like you deserve ALL THE CAKES. Fair warning, though, he may hug you. Just a tip.

[straightrhodes.livejournal.com]

I think part of it might be a speech impediment I had as a child where I couldn't make the r sound at all.

Other than that I apparently have a good Italian accent. But I think that's just because I did a lot of acting as a child (in our local Children's Theatre) so I became good at mimicking accents.

I like Italian though, it's so pretty~