I fell in love with being defiant.

I can't sleep, and since I have to get up in three and a half hours now anyway, I kinda feel like there's no longer a point in trying.

So I'll do what I always do when I can't sleep, I'll clean my room.

My room only ever has two modes, either A) really messy, or B) really clean. There is no halfway point with me. Also, generally the worse I'm feeling, the cleaner my room. When I'm really having a breakdown I alphabetize everything and organize the clothes in my closest by type and color (and I have a lot of clothing).

The more out of control I personally feel the more I try to control my surroundings.

Or so I've been told by my psychologist mother.

Let me tell you growing up with a woman who would call every bit of teenage rebellion by me Oppositional-Defiant Disorder wasn't always fun.

Right now that I'm feeling pretty good about myself, so mostly I'll just be putting things back where they belong and hanging my clean laundry.

EDIT: I totally lied. I've spent the last hour and a half cleaning out my closest of old clothes and completely reorganizing my bookcase. I've actually made more of a mess in my room. *dies*

Incidentally, I own a ton of school supplies. This is what comes of working in an office supply store for over a year. At least I'll never need to buy notebooks or pens again.