straightrhodes: (suits | #ican't)
|| How long has it been since I posted? I don't even remember.

|| I've been really busy the past few weeks, what with school and trying to figure out all the bills from my mom dying. THERE IS SO MUCH FREAKING PAPERWORK WHEN SOMEONE DIES!

|| Some good news: I'm going to SugoiCon again this year. It's in a couple of weeks. I'm really looking forward to it, even if I don't have any plans to cosplay this year. I can't wear what I wore last time because the suit I wore for that is the suit I wore to my mom's funeral, and now it's kinda the funeral suit. Which is really stupid I know, but I can't help but feel that it has funeral cooties or something. WHATEVER, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXCITING THING! Somehow I manage to turn everything back to my mom is dead. Ugh.

|| Some even better news: May 2012 I will be in Hawaii for two weeks! That's right! Two weeks of sand, surf, and sun! wait, I don't actually like any of those things WHO CARES! IT'S MOTHERFUCKING HAWAII!

I'm actually going to visit Erin, my BFF who moved there for grad school. But while I'm there she's gonna take off work and we're gonna island hop and have fun!

I'm so ridiculously excited about this I can't even- I only have like 7 months to decide what I want to do there! is shot

|| Speaking of Hawaii: I ended up marathoning Hawaii Five-0 season 1. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, it's fucking gorgeous. Yeah, I hate the way it ended. Yeah, I kinda ship Danny/Steve. ummm, how can you not?

I'm kinda scared to watch the new season though because I heard it's really different and not as good. Like, all the banter and bromance and humor from S1 is just gone. Someone said it was like they got all new writers who never even saw the first season.

What should I do? *wibbles*

|| My flower!AU for Suits has turned kinda Epic. It's at like 18K words already. I fully expect it to hit 30K before I'm done with it. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? This was supposed to be a short meme fill to get me back in to the swing of writing. I also don't update it as often as I should. Oh well.

|| Injury Updates: My Coccyx turned out to be fractured in the accident, but there is nothing the doctors can do, so I just get the joy of sitting on a broken ass all day. Yay! Not. And it turns out I tore the meniscus in my right knee. If the physical therapy I'm doing doesn't fix it I might have to have surgery.

The wreck was the accident that keeps on giving. Except I don't like these gifts.

|| So what's up with everyone else?

Welcome!

Sep. 11th, 2011 09:48 pm
straightrhodes: (wc | high five!)
// I want to welcome [livejournal.com profile] dancy_dreamer, [livejournal.com profile] acquiescence_, [livejournal.com profile] biodarkness, [livejournal.com profile] ladyknightanka, and [livejournal.com profile] oddlyfamiliar from the Suits Friending Meme. Enjoy my journal full of school bitching and fandom stuff, yay!

// Speaking of Suits - Why am I so obsessed with you? Besides the fact you're awesome. And Donna. Can't forget Donna. But seriously if you're on my F-list and don't watch this show what are you waiting for? GO WATCH IT I still can't believe the season is ending after only 12 episodes. SO UNFAIR And we have to wait a YEAR for more. It's like Sherlock BBC all over again. MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE AND THEN BREAKING MY HEART! or in Suits-speak IT'S LIKE MY SOUL HURTS

// Yeah, I'm pretty damn obsessed with this show. I've actually managed to write for it and everything!!! I'm so excited!!! It's the first time since my mom died that I feel motivated to write AND I DIDN'T EVEN HATE IT WHEN I WAS DONE! The story is below this entry. I also have a WIP up at the Meme too. It's a florist!AU and I'm afraid I've bitten off quite a bit with it, but I'm having fun. I'm actually having fun with my writing again.

// Real life stuff! I've decided to drop from full time student to part time this semester. I just can't handle a full course load right now. My emotions are all over the place. I almost broke my cell phone because it wouldn't send a text message yesterday. I went from perfectly fine to APOCALYPTIC RAGE in about .5 seconds flat.

// Now for something more fun. I'M GOING TO SUGOICON AGAIN THIS YEAR! YAY! Got the room booked already and everything. I think I'm going to need something just fun to look forward to.

// I need a new profile code but I'm too lazy~ to make my own. Any suggestions of comms to find some?

// I really want to start playing an MMORPG again, but I don't know which I should try. I also thought about just trying a regular RPG for PC. Any suggestions?

// I think this is the best I've felt since Mom died.
straightrhodes: (wc | coffee timez)
God, I fucking suck. I'm sorry I have so totally failed when it comes to posting and commenting and shit. I actually do usually read everyone's entries, but something about commenting or even replying to my own comments just seems so hard. Which is so utterly ridiculous. Somehow just getting up the motivation to do anything that requires putting my thoughts down in coherent words is completely beyond me it seems.

That segues nicely in to my topic: grieving fucking sucks. You know that five stages of grief idea? Yeah, that's complete and utter bullshit. DON'T BELIEVE IT~

I'll tell you how grief works.

You'll be completely fine one minute, and then you're totally blindsided by this overwhelming feeling of sad. It's not even sorrow because that's the first couple weeks when everything in the world makes you cry. This isn't sharp like that. Just a bone deep feeling of sadness that's always waiting for a quiet moment to sneak up and wrap around your heart so all you feel is 'I miss them. I hate this. I wish they were here.'. So you never want those quiet moments. You try to stay busy and distracted because if you sit and you think you just get drowned in all these feelings.

Feelings suck.

And you know, sometimes it still doesn't seem real. And it's not denial. I know it's real and she's gone and I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or hug her again.

The days just keep marching on and before you even realize it you're building a new life without them because it never stops even when they're gone.

Shit. I didn't mean for this to be all about my mom again.

So since I'm having such trouble with my writing I'm thinking about trying to write for some of the Kink Memes that are around. I probably would not be writing the actual kinky stuff, because I think I would die of spontaneous combustion should I try, but maybe trying to write short little things for prompts will get me back in the creative mood. Do any of you have any prompts for me? I'll write for Suits, Sherlock, White Collar, KHR, and a handful of other things. Mostly Gen.

School is going well. I'm liking Italian, even if I can't roll my r's.

I'll be going to SugoiCon in November. I just booked my room. I'm so excited but I'm not sure I'll be cosplaying this year.
straightrhodes: (anatomy | skeleton back)
Holy cheese logs! Has it really been so long since I last posted? *checks lj* Yes, yes it has.

Oops.

So my trip to New York was amazing and wonderful and also very hot and humid. But I'm used to that seeing as I LIVE IN THE SWEAT LODGE KNOWN AS KENTUCKY! sorry it's just really hot here today

I'll make a separate post about my trip once I get my photos ready. And this time I mean it! probably

In other news: Classes started today. I only have Italian on Monday/Wednesday, it looks much easier than Japanese. Tomorrow I have Italian (it's a m/t/w/r class), Art of Edo Era Japan, Art of the Enlightenment, and Art Objects of Asia. Too many classes in one day! I'm not sure why but all the art history classes are on t/r for some reason.

I think I'm going to like this semester. Dr. Allaire is the Italian teacher and she was really nice when I talked to her about potentially having panic attacks in class and needing to leave. Dr. Maske teaches two of my other classes and he's really nice and likes me. I don't know the last person but it's hard to imagine she won't be understanding.

Music: Obsessing over Christina Perri atm. Also working on a Sherlock/John mix

Writing: So before the accident I had some stuff. That stuff vanished along with the hard drive I had it on, probably lying in pieces on the Ohio interstate. Now I can't write anything that is not COMPLETE AND UTTER SHIT! It's like all my inspiration and motivation has flown out the window! I guess that's not surprising with everything that's happened though.

Mom Stuff: Still missing mom of course. I could almost swear I feel sadder now than I did before, but I'm sure that's not true. This Saturday is my parents anniversary, the first since she died. I don't think my dad will handle it well. We'll probably take flowers to the grave. I'll cry. Dad'll cry. My brother'll cry. God, when do things start getting better?

Urgh

Jun. 3rd, 2011 06:33 pm
straightrhodes: (text | f*ck is always apropos)
So sorry I haven't posted in so long! But I come baring excuses reasons:

1. On the way home from Mamaw's someone stole my wallet out of my car at a shell station in Tennesee. SOMEONE STOLE MY FUCKING WALLET! Everything just gone! 100 dollars cash, all my credit cards, my debit card, my id, my uni id, everything.

2. So I've been trying to replace all of it and in the meantime all I can do is bum my mother's debit card whenever I need anything.

3. Hung out with Laurel before she left to start her internship. We saw Source Code which is actually really, really good. I was surprised how interesting it was. We also discussed our plans to go to New York City in August (which will be incredibly, awfully hot but is the only time we both have free).

4. Still trying to work things out at Ashland for my internship. The wallet fiasco distracted me.

5. I am tired. Just tired. I will try to have a better post up soon.
straightrhodes: (poke | pikachu mustache)
\\ Leaving to visit my grandmother tomorrow. I'll be gone a week to Golden Valley, NC. Also known as THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. For serious. I will not have cell reception while I'm there, and no internet. Unless of course I drive the thirty minutes to Marion. In which case I can get online with my phone. I MIGHT DRIVE TO MARION JUST TO GET AWAY FROM MY GRANDMOTHER. She is wonderful and I love her but she drives me batty.

\\ So tomorrow I have SIX FREAKIN' HOURS WORTH OF DRIVING TO DO! All by my lonesome~ Thank god I can hook my iPod up to my car stereo.

\\ I don't really know what I'm going to do in NC. Probably play a lot of The Sims. Also work on some fics. Maybe rewatch the entire first season of Sherlock? Also whatever my Mamaw tells me to do.

\\ It's raining here. Why is it raining here? That makes me sad :(

\\ OMG! Completely random but did anyone watch the season finale of Bones? I nearly died, for serious.

\\ I've had crazy insomnia the last 5 nights. I started on a birth control pill to try and regulate my hormone levels and I think it might be keeping me up. However the insomnia is slowly getting better so I think I'll be okay.
straightrhodes: (Default)
|| The Wedding is over! OMG! i die

|| The wedding was beautiful and perfect, now let me explain my day to you all.

8 am - Wake Up, shower, do hair, make up, sew belt loop on dress, get dressed
9:20 - Leave, drive to church, eat a nutrigrain bar in car
9:55 - Arrive at Church
10 - Melissa and Hannah (bridesmaid and maid of honor respectively) ask if I can drive to Sabrina's mother's house to get the flower girl flowers that were left in the fridge. It's a half hour drive each way. The wedding starts at 11.
10:05 - I leave church and speed all the way across town
10:55 - I arrive back at church with flowers. First thing Erin says when I walk in the church, "About time! Where were you? I've had to do everything myself!" To which I reply that I had to go get the flowers (that are obviously in my hand). She rolls her eyes
11 - Wedding. So beautiful. I almost cried
11:30 - Leave church (again) and drive to reception site
12:00 - Find out I've been stuck with Erin and her friend (loser friend, it needs to be said) Tyler at a table. Luckily there are also two strangers I can talk to as well. I have my first glass of wine
12:30 - Sabrina and Jamil Arrive. They announce arrival of special guest that we have been told about since March. No one knows who this is except Sabrina and Jamil and their parents and Hannah. The guest? Abraham Lincoln. They brought in an impersonator. He gave a speech. It was epic.
1:00 - We eat. It was yummy. I have my second glass of wine.
1:45 - Cake. It was also yummy. I switch to coke.
2:00 - Toasts and speeches. I have my third glass of wine.
2:15 - First dance. Austen leaves to get in to Gorilla suit. Comes back as a gorilla in a tux jacket. I am not even joking. The reception gets even more epic when inflatables are thrown on to the dance floor. These include a bass, a dinosaur, a moose head, and a cooked turkey inflatables. We all proceed to act stupid and play 'Keep off the floor' with the inflatable turkey.
3:00ish - Becca and Hannah are thanking me for 'saving the wedding' or at least Sabrina's sanity that morning. I ask if Erin knew what I was doing. They say yes she did. I get pissed off. I have my fourth glass of wine.
3:10ish - I find Erin complaining about me not helping her in the church that morning to Sarah, who had been late to the wedding herself helping to set up the reception area and decorate the wedding cake. I snap at Erin "I was getting the flowers. You know that. It was thirty minutes to Dr. Lawler's house and then thirty minutes back! I managed to do it in 50, counting the time it took to find the flowers in the house!. I was there at 9:55, you didn't show up until 10:20, 20 minutes later than Sabrina asked you and you've been complaining about not getting to sleep in on a Saturday, so please stop acting so put upon and lying to people!" Erin gets pissy and storms off. Sarah rolls her eyes and asks me if I'm okay and says not to take Erin seriously because they all know I've done a lot more for Sabrina and for the wedding than Erin has.
3:20ish - I switch to water and then dance with Austen (still in the gorilla suit), and Daisuke (who's wearing a yukata). Erin glares at me cause Daisuke is her ex. (which might be why I danced with him)
3:40ish - Seth, Chase, and Austen seranade Sabrina and Jamil to the tune of 80's pop hit, that I can not for the life of me remember now.
3:50 - Bouqet gets tossed. Everyone unmarried (male, female, divorced, widowed whatever) has to try and catch as per Sabrina's order. Jamil's dad catches it.
4 - I leave to go home.

||In short, it was pretty much the greatest wedding I've ever been to. Erin and her self-centeredness non-withstanding. I don't know what the hell Erin's problems are but she's been getting worse and worse. Everyone has noticed. Sabrina said at her bachelorette's party that she wished she hadn't made Erin an usher and had made Sarah one instead. All Erin cares about is herself. She had the audacity to snap at Sabrina at Sabrina's reception for telling someone that Erin was vegan. She was telling Jamil's dad, who is also vegan. Erin said that Sabrina shouldn't be telling her business.

||Ugh. I've already started distancing myself from Erin because it's just not worth it anymore. I kind of can't wait for her to be gone.

|| Now, art! I haven't drawn in ages but I doodled these two things while waiting for my mom one day. They aren't very good and I drew them in a tiny 4 inch by 2 inch note book and then took photos with my phone, but still, ART!
Cut for your convience )

|| Finally, I have a new mix up at [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks. It's a mix for Moriarty from Sherlock BBC.
straightrhodes: (ppl | zooey shy smile)
I put up a new layout. I decided that I need something lighter and brighter for spring. What do you all think?

Thanks all for making me feel better. I'm glad I got that off my chest and now I'm feeling a lot more optimistic. This may or may not have something to do with the shopping spree me and my mom went on yesterday.

I'm hoping with that with break I'll have a chance to work on my writing more. It's a lot harder to work on fic when I know I have an anthropology paper I should be working on instead, haha.

I am almost done with a Moriarty mix, if you're in to the Sherlock fandom at all.

Shit I'm on a music spree right now. Been DL-ing some mixes, listening to a lot of stuff, coming up with all sorts of mix ideas. How can people not be as obsessed with music as me? I find this perplexing. I'm currently looping Greg Laswell and Michael Buble. They're soothing~

Been working on cleaning my room. It relaxes me so much, *sigh*. What doesn't relax me is the fact that my closet is full to bursting and I still have two laundry baskets worth of stuff to hang. flails and dies
straightrhodes: (anatomy | skeleton back)
The end of the semester just completely snuck up on me. I can't believe classes are over. What's up with that? Now I'm feeling all sad and shit because this is really the end of an era.

The biggest chunk of my college friends are leaving at the end of July. Erin's off to Hawaii. Sabrina's going to Georgia. I'm not sure where Laurel is going but she wants to find a journalism job. Chase is graduating. Kim is graduating. So many other people too. The only friends I'll have left, really friends, are Laura, Jennifer, and Sarah. And I'm just not as close to them as I want to be, as maybe I could be if I just manned up and tried a little harder.

I'm so afraid that I'm going to pull away from everyone, as is my wont to do, and just end up lonely, only communicating with my family. It's happened before. I need to try harder at making friends but I actually have a really hard time doing so. A horrible, awful 4th and 5th grade spent being teased by my whole class (their favorite name for me was The Germ) and alienated to the point that I just wanted to die at the age of ten made it so putting myself out there to strangers is nearly impossible. Honestly I've always relied on Erin, Erin's friends became my friends and how shitty is that? All she does anymore is piss me off and stress me out but I'm so scared I won't be able to get friends on my own if she leaves.

When did I become so pathetic?

Shit. I know part of this is just that we've been messing with my anti-depressants so my depression is getting the best of me again, but a lot of it is real concern too.

It doesn't help that my dad is always ragging on me. "Why don't you hang out with your friends on campus?" "Why don't you eat lunch with them?" "Why don't you go out more" He wants me to be more the 'typical college kid' which includes eating lunch with friends and wearing t-shirts and jeans everyday (gag me, just gag me). I know he just thinks that's what will make me happy because he remembers his undergrad years as being so great but it really grates on me how hard he pushes.

I'm so sorry to my flist for this stupid rant too but I think I just really needed to get it all out.

Now to make me feel better some things I'm looking forward to:
1. Sabrina and Jamil's wedding. Rehearsal is Friday, wedding Saturday. I'm so excited.
2. Working at Ashland, even if I'm not getting paid
3. Cape Cod (I go every year but I still really enjoy it, mostly)
4. New York City with Laurel (I hope, I hope, I hope)
5. Cleaning my room (I actually enjoy the process of doing this but haven't gotten around to it in um months.)
straightrhodes: (khr | get off my lawn!)
# Finally finished and posted that Sherlock fic. It ended up being more than 6500 words, haha. I found a truly wonderful lady to beta and brit-pick it for me. It really needed it too!

# OMG! School's almost over! *hyperventilates and dies*

# I have SO MUCH TO DO once school is over. It's all shit I've been putting of. (I've been using school as an excuse so I'll have to find a new one soon.)

1. Clean Room
2. Clean out fridge
3. Finish training at Ashland
4. Prepare for Sabrina's Wedding
5. Finish redecorating Bathroom
6. Buy new bed at Ikea (and you know, put it together)
7. Clean out closet
8. More (there is always more)

# Chinese project is going well I think. We're writing about two of director Zhang Yimou's movies, Raise the Red Lantern and Under the Hawthorn Tree. THEY ARE BOTH SO SAD!

# Me and Laurel hope to spend about 5 days in New York City this summer! OMG! It will be so much fun! I've never been. Every other major city on the East Coast I've been to but not NYC. I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT!

# Still training for interning at Ashland. I go on yet another tour tomorrow. Did you know one of Henry Clay's sons was commited to an Insane Asylum?

# ERIN IS DRIVING ME INSANE! And it's weird. I know she's not leaving till July but I already miss her. I think I miss how our friendship used to be. Now we have practically nothing in common and she stresses me out so much. I hate to say it but Erin's kinda a bad friend too. She goes on and on about her life and her problems, but I can't say anything about what stresses me out? I wonder if I'm not clinging to our friendship not for friendship's sake but for my memories.

Also: Who doesn't know what their hobbies are? I asked Erin what she likes to do and she couldn't answer me. How weird is that?

# It has been raining for 5 days. FIVE DAYS It's so depressing!

# Watched the first episode of Aoi no Exorcist. It was good. Maybe I should give the manga another go?

# Sorry to my flist for having to put up with so many rants, especially about Erin.
straightrhodes: (wc | mozzie wants you)
HOLY CRAP! There is only ONE more week of classes and then a week of finals!

Sabrina's wedding is in 3 weeks! OMG! I still need shoes and bag and a gift!

Just finished my 5 page paper on The Aesthetics of Chanoyu. WHY ARE MY CLASSES SO WEIRD?

I have TWO projects due next week! They're group projects thank god!

Because of those two projects I can't go to my grandmother's for Easter! I AM GOING TO BE ALONE ALL WEEKEND! I'm lonely~

I have two Chinese movies to watch before tomorrow. Ugh. They are subtitles it's just that the movies seem kind of boring.

A Panda Express just opened in the Student Center. I haven't gotten to eat there yet because it's been swarmed. I want to try it~

If you like Sherlock (BBC) check out [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks. I posted a Sherlock Fanmix a few days ago.

Speaking of Sherlock I'm 5000 words in to a fic that was suppose to be like 3000. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE YET! I'm too damn wordy.

Might go see a movie this weekend. What should I see?
straightrhodes: (kuro | one of those days)
|| I thought my dad gave me his cold, no, no he didn't. I have a sinus infection. It actually first got bad Wednesday at Sarah's Party (incidentally I bought her a bottle of my favorite wine, turns out it's her favourite too, haha). I couldn't drink at Cheapside because of all the decongestants I was taking and spent half the night blowing my nose (yes at the table, I actually stole Erin and Sabrina's napkins at some point). I ended up leaving early. I went to the doctor the next day, got prescribe some huge ass amoxicillin pills and also some mucinex-d (which are also huge). I've gone through several bowls of soup and one and a half boxes of tissues.

|| When I'm sick I don't like to do anything except sleep and watch a lot of Law & Order (all versions except LA) and NCIS (original only please). USA and TNT help this by having convient marathons pretty much daily of one of them or another.

|| I've also been playing a bit of Perfect World Int. It's pretty amazing for a free MMORPG.

|| I was suppose to go to the Ashland today to shadow two tours. I forgot because I was somewhat high on decongestants (That sudafed shit will mess you up). I'll have to call tomorrow.

|| Almost done with my Sherlock mix. Wondering if ten songs is enough. I usually go for at least 12, but Sherlock is being a bitch to find songs for. The mix is also half instrumental, seeing as I'm so obsessed with instrumental music at the moment.

|| I need a shower. It's been almost three days. (TMI?)

|| I'm getting out of the house tomorrow. I don't care if it's just to go to the grocery. I need to get out!!!!!
straightrhodes: (sherlock | snooooze)
// My back! Ack! I did something to it and now it hurts!!! I went to the chiropractor though and he put magic tape on it. Seriously, this stuff is amazing! It reduces swelling, tightness, and pain like *snaps fingers* that!

// Spent the weekend in Cincy. Went to the Kenwood Mall (which is practically my dream mall, for reals). I bought a top and pair of shorts at Anthropologie. A top a Francesca's. and two tops, pair of pants, and a headband (to go with my dress for Sabrina's wedding) at H&M. Well I shouldn't say I bought, because my mom paid, haha.

// We also went to the Cincy Zoo. We saw baby gibbons, a baby giraffe, and baby bonobos! OMG so cute!

Okay, so the gibbon is now much bigger than this, but it's just as cute, seriously.

// Tomorrow I go to Cheapside for Sarah's B-day. Holy crap, do I need to get her a present? Shit! What to do, what to do?!

// I'm about 1900 words in to my girl!Sherlock crack piece. It's a very strange crack piece though because it's crack that takes itself seriously. Yeah. That's how I roll, baby! (WTF?)

// I am tired... A storm kept me tossing and turning last night, and the tossing and turning hurt my back ;_;

// Wondering if I should start playing MMORPGs again. I stopped because my old computer was crap, but now with this shiny new one I wonder if I should start back up. What should I play if I do though?
straightrhodes: (F*ck is always apropos)
// It was really nice and warm for like two weeks here but then about a week ago it got cold again, dammit! It actually snowed on Saturday. I want sun, and warmth, and to wear my dresses and skirts again, cause I own a lot.

// I've been so busy with school and everything. Tests, and presentations, and papers. Ugh.

// Speaking of school I decided to add a minor of Art History. It means that it will take me another semester to graduate but I think it will be worth it. I should be graduating in Spring of '13. Only two years after I was supposed to graduate. is shot

// I feel like there were a couple of things I was supposed to be doing for people on my flist but I can't remember... If I said I was going to do something for you and haven't comment here so I'll do it.

// New mix up at [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks. It's another sleep mix, mostly instrumental stuff.

// Been trying to work on a fic for Sherlock BBC. It's semi-crack and involves Sherlock turning in to a girl inexplicably. Clearly it will be humor.

// Attended Sabrina's Bridal Shower this weekend. It was a tea, so we drank tea, ate delicious scones, and were fuck-tons of classy, lol. Becca hosted it. Becca not only has two beautiful cats and a corgi, but also a hedgehog named, what else?, Sonic.

// Speaking of the wedding I still need to find a dress, argh!

// So Erin definately has an Eating disorder, but she refuses, despite what two dieticians (and me) have recommended she do, which is see a therapist. Erin believes that certain mental illnesses are just things that people should get over on their own, like OCD and Depression and Bipolar and apparently Eating Disorders. She thinks medicine (and therapy) is a crutch. I fucking hate that argument. If you have a broken leg, you use a crutch, if you have diabetes you use insulin, so what the hell is wrong with using Zoloft or Therapy if it's your mind that is ill?

She says people get dependent on it to be happy and that people should just be able to "look inside themselves" to find their happiness. What hippie bullshit. The pills don't make me happy. It's not fucking marijuana. I'm not high on Zoloft. They just make it so the rest of the world isn't crushing down on my. They allow me to see the paths toward happiness.

Maybe it's a good thing she's going to Hawaii, because honestly I'm a little tired of her. Which sounds terrible but we just don't have that much in common anymore. Plus I spend all my time worrying for her, which isn't healthy for me. I told her that I don't want to hear about her problems with Eating anymore because if she's not going to get help then that's just self-destructive behaviour and until she realizes that there is nothing I say that's going to help so I don't want to hear her bitch anymore.

When did friendship get so hard? Can we go back to being 7 and the most complicated thing about being friends was whether or not to share your cookie at lunch?
straightrhodes: (True Story yo!)
// I caught the flu last week. Fabulous. But I'm better now, so yay?

// It's Spring Break and I've done nothing. Mainly because I'm still getting over being sick.

// Got a hair cut last Saturday. I only got about two inches cut off but damn does my hair seem shorter D: Still I had to get my discolored and broken ends off.

// Shit I have a lot to accomplish. I have about three fics I need to be working on. School work (blargh). Cleaning my room. Dying my hair. Painting my bathroom. Ugh. SO MUCH TO DO!

// Erin got in to the University of Hawaii. I'm happy and really sad at the same time. I don't want her to leave me! I have so much trouble making friends and she's been my friend for over ten years now. My best friend for five! Plus two of my other really close friends are leaving too. Sabrina is moving to Georgia to study Botany and Laurel is, well I'm not sure where she's going but she wants to get a job out of town. When did all my friends start growing up into responsible adults?

// Speaking of Sabrina, her Bridal shower is in a week and a half. In Louisville. Jeez. That's over an hour away. Becca is hosting so I guess that's why but shouldn't the Bridal shower be in the same city as the bride? I still need to find a dress for the wedding as well.

// So I'm kinda over the whole Japan trip thing. I figure it would have been cancelled any way what with the Earthquake and Tsunami and all. All of my friends in Japan are fine. Fumiko (who lives in Tokyo) said her house shook terribly but other than that nothing. The rest of my friends live either on the west coast or down south. I've already made donations to the Red Cross. I'd offer something for auction, but real life, you know?

// Since the Japan trip is cancelled indefinately (meaning my school is no longer going to offer it) I decided to look again at some other trips. I've decided that I'm going to try for a 8 week internship in London next summer (2012). I'm hoping they'll have an internship with a museum I could do.

// So I've decided instead of lanquishing this summer to take up the Cello again. I used to play years ago and I loved it but circumstances prevented me from continuing. I'm going to find a private tutor and take up lessons again. I fear I've forgotten all I know, and of course I don't have my cello any more, but I'm really looking forward to it. Now I just need to find a teacher, haha.

// I may go on a trip with Erin this summer too, if she doesn't get a job with one of the National Parks like she wants. Erin is turning a little weird though. Maybe it's a good thing she's leaving because I'm not sure how long a shared background and proximity would have kept us as friends after all. She doesn't believe in taking medicine or eating chemicals (I take a ton of medication and I get the distinct impression that Erin does not approve of my hormone pills or my anti-depressants, she once implied that depression and OCD was something that people 'just needed to get over'). She's super animal-rights (I buy free range and organic when I can but frankly I want to solve human rights issues (such as human trafficking!)) She once told me that animal cruelty was in the same league as child pedophile! NO! NOT AT ALL! To be perfectly honest I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Erin has moved to a commune or something. It's getting that weird. Erin has never been very pragmatic though, and that's irritating. I'm a very pragmatic person at the end of the day.

// Going to IKEA and Anthropologie this weekend with my mom. We love IKEA so much, haha. We're such weirdos. Hahah.

// Tomorrow is St. Paddy's day. Do I own any green?

// Finally broke down and bought a year long paid membership. It's so nice not having any pesky ads.

// Yesterday Sabrina asked me if I was bringing a date to her wedding. I looked at her and said, "What on earth makes you think I'm bringing a date?". In the four years I've been at college I've been on two dates. When I mentioned that to my mom she said "Really? It's been that many?" Thanks mom. Apparently guys find me terrifying (according to Eric my gay friend). Maybe I should become a lesbian. I'm constantly being hit on by lesbians.
straightrhodes: (Default)
So that midterm I didn't get to finish and was pissed about? I got 100% with the 2 pt curve. She gave the curve so at least one person would get a 100. Does that mean I set the curve? o.O

I'm so fucking obsessed with Sherlock (BBC). I love it so much. Holy shit, everyone needs to watch this. Everyone. No exceptions.

Bought the Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes today (Vol. 1 and 2). I read the first novel of it a long time ago but now I'm going to read everything. It's amazing how many books and stories there are out there of Sherlock Holmes not written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Finally got a mix finished and posted. It's a mix of creepy music and can be found at my comm [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks.

I swear I have been working on our fic, [livejournal.com profile] daigranon! I wrote a thousand words today, I did! I'm just so busy with midterms, *sob*

I need a new iPod. I filled mine up. Apparently it can only hold 200 albums. Not enough!!!!

Ever since my bestie Erin started going to a dietician and turned vegan she's been a health nut. I mentioned that I usually eat a Nutrigrain bar for breakfast and she's all "Those are packed with sugar!" and then me and Sarah were talking about how much we loved movie theater popcorn with lots of butter and Erin said "All those chemicals and preservatives are so bad for you!". Shit, I'm pretty sure at this point I'd go in to some kind of withdrawal if I don't have chemicals and preservatives. I'm happy for her and all for being healthy or whatever, but seriously, don't get in between me and my preservatives.

Welcome to [livejournal.com profile] le_prince_lutin who not only shares my love of Sherlock, but also music (including instrumental(esp. Cello)), good theater, travel, and Sherlock (it deserves to be said twice).
straightrhodes: (Get Off My Lawn!)
+ I somehow managed to hurt my back, really badly. I don't know what I did but for three days I was having back spasms and I've had three emergency sessions with my chiropractor and massage therapist.

+ Pissed at my Tourism teacher. She made her test too long so I didn't get to finish the essay, which was worth 30 pts. 15 kids were sitting there when she called 'Turn in your papers in two minutes or get a 0'. Hopefully she takes that in to account when she grades. She's never taught the class before so I think she just underestimated how long it would take.

+ I've had no time to do anything. I thought I'd get a mix done and the second chapter of mine and [livejournal.com profile] daigranon's fic finished up but noooo, I've been too busy. If it's not school it's babysitting or friends or stuff at home or I'm laid up high on pain killers.

+ I haven't yet gotten a comfirmation that I'm in for the Japan program. Now I'm getting worried...

+ Started a new diet. It's pretty stict but I'm definately eating healthier and I'm hoping to lose 15 pounds before May 14th.

+ Speaking of May 14th that's Sabrina's Wedding!!!! I mentioned this ages ago but me and Erin (my bestie) are going to be ushers (because she already has 4 bridesmaids and decided she just could not have any more, haha). The wedding colors are so pretty but now I need to buy a dress, BUT FIRST I MUST LOSE WEIGHT! Not that I'm fat, I'm not. I'd just like to lose weight, haha.

+ Tired... is it friday? No? Damn.
straightrhodes: (Crown)
Finished my Anthropology of Tourism paper 3 hours before it was due, yes! I wrote about the Tourist Gaze in Relation to the American Museum of Natural History in D.C. Yeah, that was the title of the paper, haha.

Got a 96% on my Soft Power and the Japanese Tea Ceremony Test, not too shabby.

Super Duper excited about mine and [livejournal.com profile] daigranon's KHR/WC cross. We've started writing it now. Eeeeee!

I hope to complete a mix or two this weekend. I haven't really worked on anything other than my HW the past two weeks.

My dog got a haircut. He's now Nekkid. Seriously. It had been so long since we took him that his furr got matted and they had to shave him really close. Pierre is also really fat now. I find it funny.

Went out to a Chinese/Japanese restuarant called Fulin's last weekend for a friends Birthday. One of my friends is ethnically Korean, but she was adopted by a white couple. Our Chinese waitress started speaking to her in Mandarin asking if she wanted the special menu, we said yes once we realized what she wanted. It had all sorts of weird things not on the normal menu. We tried the Twice Cooked Pork. It was really good!

Me and my bestie had a huge, huge fight. Almost ended out friendship fight, but then we started talking (via text so we couldn't yell and had to think about what we were going to say) and we realized that both of us felt like the other wasn't respecting us and ur feelings. (That sentence seems weird, hmm). Well apparently we had some issues that we just hadn't talked about until finally we couldn't take it anymore. Luckily we realized this and we both really want to make up with the other, so we've been talking in person and I think things are going to be better than before.

Went to my endocrinologist, he still sucks. MAKE ME BETTER ALREADY!

I finished a story, but the ending is weak! I need a beta to help me make it better! It's a KHR Gen fic, and it's short. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!

I am addicted to the games on my phone. It's ridiculous.

Sprained my ankle again yesterday. Slipped on the stairs of the Fine Arts Building at school.
straightrhodes: (Xanxus)
I had a dermatology appointment yesterday, and OMG THE DOCTOR IS SO FREAKIN' HOT! We are talking movie star handsome here. And he's only like 30! AND I LOOK LIKE CRAP BECAUSE MY SKIN IS SO NASTY!!!!

So I got prescribe some very expensive lotion and a face wash. The wash is a sodium-sulfur wash. I SMELL LIKE A HOTSPRING! Or a clam bed but hotspring sounds better.

I also went to my chiropractor, who is not quite as hot but he looks pretty good for a 45 year old man. He cracked my back and it hurt so bad. Much worse than usual. Probably because I've been carrying my laptop around.

It's so warm~ It's going to be 65 degrees today. I'm so happy!

Been babysitting like mad. I actually have money! Holy Crap! What should I spend it on?

Me and [livejournal.com profile] daigranon have started work on a truly fabulously epically non-crack KHR/White Collar cross. I haven't been this excited to write something in a long time.
straightrhodes: (Lambo sleepy)
It's Monday! Yay! (No!)

+ I probably did not fail my test in my Methods of Soft Power and the Japanese Tea Ceremony class. Yeah. That's a class.

+ I should be working on my Chinese culture take home exam, but I is laaaa~zy. And it's not due until two tomorrow. I swear if it weren't for the prospect of imminent failure looming in front of me I'd never get anything done.

+ Scheduled two doctor's appointments for the next week. One is with my endocrinologist, so that's nothing new, but one is with a dermatologist. I'm so freaking pissed of. I used to have horrible acne, but then it cleared up in High School and I had fabulous skin, now the acne is back and it's awful. Apparently my PCOS can cause acne, but I'm not waiting for the endocrinologist to suggest me more pills that DON'T FUCKING WORK! I'm a tad upset that I've been seeing this guy for 6 mos with NOTHING to show for it.

+ I've been writing! Shocking! Don't have a heart attack, haha. But seriously, I'm 3/4ths of the way done with a fic. My first in months! I'm a little ashamed to admit that actually. I also now have all these ideas for a KHR/White Collar crossover, so we'll see how that goes. I run out of steam with them half way through so nothings really useable yet, ugh.

+ Caught up with my manga, now I just need to catch up on Star Driver and I'm set, you know, until I get behind again dies

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