ღ That segues nicely in to my topic: grieving fucking sucks. You know that five stages of grief idea? Yeah, that's complete and utter bullshit. DON'T BELIEVE IT~
I'll tell you how grief works.
You'll be completely fine one minute, and then you're totally blindsided by this overwhelming feeling of sad. It's not even sorrow because that's the first couple weeks when everything in the world makes you cry. This isn't sharp like that. Just a bone deep feeling of sadness that's always waiting for a quiet moment to sneak up and wrap around your heart so all you feel is 'I miss them. I hate this. I wish they were here.'. So you never want those quiet moments. You try to stay busy and distracted because if you sit and you think you just get drowned in all these feelings.
And you know, sometimes it still doesn't seem real. And it's not denial. I know it's real and she's gone and I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or hug her again.
The days just keep marching on and before you even realize it you're building a new life without them because it never stops even when they're gone.
Shit. I didn't mean for this to be all about my mom again.
ღ So since I'm having such trouble with my writing I'm thinking about trying to write for some of the Kink Memes that are around. I probably would not be writing the actual kinky stuff, because I think I would die of spontaneous combustion should I try, but maybe trying to write short little things for prompts will get me back in the creative mood. Do any of you have any prompts for me? I'll write for Suits, Sherlock, White Collar, KHR, and a handful of other things. Mostly Gen.
ღ School is going well. I'm liking Italian, even if I can't roll my r's.
ღ I'll be going to SugoiCon in November. I just booked my room. I'm so excited but I'm not sure I'll be cosplaying this year.