straightrhodes: (wc | coffee timez)
God, I fucking suck. I'm sorry I have so totally failed when it comes to posting and commenting and shit. I actually do usually read everyone's entries, but something about commenting or even replying to my own comments just seems so hard. Which is so utterly ridiculous. Somehow just getting up the motivation to do anything that requires putting my thoughts down in coherent words is completely beyond me it seems.

That segues nicely in to my topic: grieving fucking sucks. You know that five stages of grief idea? Yeah, that's complete and utter bullshit. DON'T BELIEVE IT~

I'll tell you how grief works.

You'll be completely fine one minute, and then you're totally blindsided by this overwhelming feeling of sad. It's not even sorrow because that's the first couple weeks when everything in the world makes you cry. This isn't sharp like that. Just a bone deep feeling of sadness that's always waiting for a quiet moment to sneak up and wrap around your heart so all you feel is 'I miss them. I hate this. I wish they were here.'. So you never want those quiet moments. You try to stay busy and distracted because if you sit and you think you just get drowned in all these feelings.

Feelings suck.

And you know, sometimes it still doesn't seem real. And it's not denial. I know it's real and she's gone and I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or hug her again.

The days just keep marching on and before you even realize it you're building a new life without them because it never stops even when they're gone.

Shit. I didn't mean for this to be all about my mom again.

So since I'm having such trouble with my writing I'm thinking about trying to write for some of the Kink Memes that are around. I probably would not be writing the actual kinky stuff, because I think I would die of spontaneous combustion should I try, but maybe trying to write short little things for prompts will get me back in the creative mood. Do any of you have any prompts for me? I'll write for Suits, Sherlock, White Collar, KHR, and a handful of other things. Mostly Gen.

School is going well. I'm liking Italian, even if I can't roll my r's.

I'll be going to SugoiCon in November. I just booked my room. I'm so excited but I'm not sure I'll be cosplaying this year.
straightrhodes: (Crown)
Finished my Anthropology of Tourism paper 3 hours before it was due, yes! I wrote about the Tourist Gaze in Relation to the American Museum of Natural History in D.C. Yeah, that was the title of the paper, haha.

Got a 96% on my Soft Power and the Japanese Tea Ceremony Test, not too shabby.

Super Duper excited about mine and [livejournal.com profile] daigranon's KHR/WC cross. We've started writing it now. Eeeeee!

I hope to complete a mix or two this weekend. I haven't really worked on anything other than my HW the past two weeks.

My dog got a haircut. He's now Nekkid. Seriously. It had been so long since we took him that his furr got matted and they had to shave him really close. Pierre is also really fat now. I find it funny.

Went out to a Chinese/Japanese restuarant called Fulin's last weekend for a friends Birthday. One of my friends is ethnically Korean, but she was adopted by a white couple. Our Chinese waitress started speaking to her in Mandarin asking if she wanted the special menu, we said yes once we realized what she wanted. It had all sorts of weird things not on the normal menu. We tried the Twice Cooked Pork. It was really good!

Me and my bestie had a huge, huge fight. Almost ended out friendship fight, but then we started talking (via text so we couldn't yell and had to think about what we were going to say) and we realized that both of us felt like the other wasn't respecting us and ur feelings. (That sentence seems weird, hmm). Well apparently we had some issues that we just hadn't talked about until finally we couldn't take it anymore. Luckily we realized this and we both really want to make up with the other, so we've been talking in person and I think things are going to be better than before.

Went to my endocrinologist, he still sucks. MAKE ME BETTER ALREADY!

I finished a story, but the ending is weak! I need a beta to help me make it better! It's a KHR Gen fic, and it's short. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!

I am addicted to the games on my phone. It's ridiculous.

Sprained my ankle again yesterday. Slipped on the stairs of the Fine Arts Building at school.
straightrhodes: (One of Those Days)


I can't do this Hiatus. I AM A HIATUS FAILURE! I think I need to spend 40 or so minutes a day mindlessly wondering around LJ. OR ELSE I WILL GO INSANE AND START TEARING POOR DEFENSELESS STUFFED ANIMALS APART!

So screw you Hiatus. I never liked you anyway. OR YOUR FACE!

In other news I will be forced to be away from LJ this Thanksgiving Weekend. I am going to the far wilds where internet dare not tread; also known as my Mamaw's house. So maybe it's a little stupid to end my Hiatus now? Oh but here is my to-do list while I am there:

1. Read The Crysanthemum and The Sword
2. Read Journey to the West/Monkey
3. Read Japan as No. One - Lessons for the West
4. Read Writing About Art
5. Write Art History Essay
6. Write Anthropological History Short Paper 3
7. Write 4-6 Arts Asia Festival Reviews
8. Finish Writing KHR Halloween Fest piece (OMFG I suck for not doing this sooner. WHY MUST I BE SO LAZY BUSY!)
9. Eat Turkey and Get Fat

Ugh. Just Ugh.

In other news I'm thinking about creating a Comm for all my icons and fsts and stuff. What do you all think? Fic would probably still be posted here.

Also can anyone reccomend some good instrumental music that's NOT classical? I want some~
straightrhodes: (One of Those Days)

► I have a midterm tomorrow in Japanese Culture that I have not studied for. Wah!

► I have missed a week of classes because of my dislocated jaw and and upper respiratory infection. I now take about 10 pills a day of various medications.

► One of these medications is a sleeping pill. Unfortunately another of these is a steriod (for my jaw) the steriod keeps me up the sleeping pill tries to make me sleep, their duking it out with me in the middle.

► My Chiropractor adjusted my jaw today to try to make it better. Yeah, that hurt like a bitch.

► Once again, MIDTERMS!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!

► I'm almost done with my Chrome FST. Actually that's a lie, but I have the cover done (actually two covers so please vote for the best below) and I've picked all the songs. I'll try to have it up this weekend.

► I've also gained a little more inspiration for writing. Been working on the sequel to Bail. I need to be working on my fic for the KHR Halloween Exchange. I actually have a really good idea for it. I'm so lazy.

► Bought a tie and tie clip at this Vintage store I LOVE for my cosplay. The tie is not black. It's dark blue with lighter blue (the exact shade of my shirt) and white flowers. It's so perfect. I was gonna upload a pic, but I put my card in my other (nicer) camera that is currently located at my dad's office. Maybe I'll remember later. So now all I need is the dye, the eyepatch and the ring. I better get ordering.

NOW: Please vote for which cover you prefer for my Chrome FST

or



I know which I prefer, but what do you all think? The final ones will be much bigger btw.
 


straightrhodes: (Get Off My Lawn!)

Writing another Anthropological Theory paper. THIS SUCKS! Why oh why did I take this class again? Oh yeah, it's required.

edit: It's DONE! *dies* If I don't get an A on this bitch I'm gonna fucking lose it.
straightrhodes: (Get Off My Lawn!)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE FOR THIS STUPID ANTHROPOLOGY PAPER!!!
kill me now pls


straightrhodes: (Zooey)


I'm in desperate need of a beta or two for my KHR fics. They will all be oneshots, typically between 1000 and 5000 words (although if the mood really stikes me they could be longer). Basically you'd be expected to check my spelling (because my spellcheck doesn't work and the one on google docs sucks), cheak my grammer, make sure I don't make too many canon errors, and give me feedback on the plot, readibility, etc.

I will of course credit you for your help with each piece.

If interested leave a comment on this post!


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