straightrhodes: (text | frickin' reality)
Blargh, I hate rain. It's been raining here forever.

Other news: Me and Erin avoided a big fight today, and I'm very proud of us both.

For those of you who don't know Erin is my best friend and probably worst enemy. We have a dangerously co-dependent relationship that over the years has swung from massive highs to unsafe lows. We fight and hurt each other but we always veered back to each other because at the end of the day we're closer than sisters and we always feel like we need each other.

It's not really the healthiest relationship.

Well for pretty much the first half of this year we were intent on driving the other mad, fighting all the time and pretty much being as hurtful as possible. It cumulated in a huge blowout over my birthday party and we both ended up saying things we didn't mean but couldn't take back. We decided to end the friendship.

Then my mom died.

And Erin was wonderful. She was so good with me and a huge comfort the first three weeks after, before she had to leave for Hawaii where she is going to grad school. Still we text and talk quite often and have both, though not in so many words, decided to try harder.

That was the problem, we both got so comfortable in our friendship that we stopped trying, and it was the lack of effort more than anything that killed our friendship.

Today we were having a conversation via texting about my potentially coming to Hawaii in May. I mentioned that if I came in May rather than over spring break I could spend a week in Honolulu and then a week hopping the other islands. Erin mentioned she hadn't gotten to see the other islands yet and I said she could come with me if she had the time.

Erin misunderstood. She thought I didn't really want her to do it and didn't really care to have her company, that I was using her as an excuse to visit Hawaii. She got upset because she felt excluded.

I explained I hadn't meant it like that at all, and I admit my original message was worded poorly. I just didn't want to impose or take up too much of her time. She had mentioned the possibility of summer courses to me a couple days ago and I hadn't wanted her to feel like she was obligated to entertain me when she had class or work to worry about.

Before, even before things got really really bad, I would have snapped back at her, and neither of us would have bothered explaining our thought processes out. Now I feel like we try a little harder to be clearer and more understanding with each other. I'm really hopeful that our friendship is heading to a better place, and I think it will if we both manage to hold on to our admittedly bad tempers.


Other than that life is really normal, like depressingly normal.
straightrhodes: (khr | get off my lawn!)
# Finally finished and posted that Sherlock fic. It ended up being more than 6500 words, haha. I found a truly wonderful lady to beta and brit-pick it for me. It really needed it too!

# OMG! School's almost over! *hyperventilates and dies*

# I have SO MUCH TO DO once school is over. It's all shit I've been putting of. (I've been using school as an excuse so I'll have to find a new one soon.)

1. Clean Room
2. Clean out fridge
3. Finish training at Ashland
4. Prepare for Sabrina's Wedding
5. Finish redecorating Bathroom
6. Buy new bed at Ikea (and you know, put it together)
7. Clean out closet
8. More (there is always more)

# Chinese project is going well I think. We're writing about two of director Zhang Yimou's movies, Raise the Red Lantern and Under the Hawthorn Tree. THEY ARE BOTH SO SAD!

# Me and Laurel hope to spend about 5 days in New York City this summer! OMG! It will be so much fun! I've never been. Every other major city on the East Coast I've been to but not NYC. I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT!

# Still training for interning at Ashland. I go on yet another tour tomorrow. Did you know one of Henry Clay's sons was commited to an Insane Asylum?

# ERIN IS DRIVING ME INSANE! And it's weird. I know she's not leaving till July but I already miss her. I think I miss how our friendship used to be. Now we have practically nothing in common and she stresses me out so much. I hate to say it but Erin's kinda a bad friend too. She goes on and on about her life and her problems, but I can't say anything about what stresses me out? I wonder if I'm not clinging to our friendship not for friendship's sake but for my memories.

Also: Who doesn't know what their hobbies are? I asked Erin what she likes to do and she couldn't answer me. How weird is that?

# It has been raining for 5 days. FIVE DAYS It's so depressing!

# Watched the first episode of Aoi no Exorcist. It was good. Maybe I should give the manga another go?

# Sorry to my flist for having to put up with so many rants, especially about Erin.
straightrhodes: (F*ck is always apropos)
// It was really nice and warm for like two weeks here but then about a week ago it got cold again, dammit! It actually snowed on Saturday. I want sun, and warmth, and to wear my dresses and skirts again, cause I own a lot.

// I've been so busy with school and everything. Tests, and presentations, and papers. Ugh.

// Speaking of school I decided to add a minor of Art History. It means that it will take me another semester to graduate but I think it will be worth it. I should be graduating in Spring of '13. Only two years after I was supposed to graduate. is shot

// I feel like there were a couple of things I was supposed to be doing for people on my flist but I can't remember... If I said I was going to do something for you and haven't comment here so I'll do it.

// New mix up at [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks. It's another sleep mix, mostly instrumental stuff.

// Been trying to work on a fic for Sherlock BBC. It's semi-crack and involves Sherlock turning in to a girl inexplicably. Clearly it will be humor.

// Attended Sabrina's Bridal Shower this weekend. It was a tea, so we drank tea, ate delicious scones, and were fuck-tons of classy, lol. Becca hosted it. Becca not only has two beautiful cats and a corgi, but also a hedgehog named, what else?, Sonic.

// Speaking of the wedding I still need to find a dress, argh!

// So Erin definately has an Eating disorder, but she refuses, despite what two dieticians (and me) have recommended she do, which is see a therapist. Erin believes that certain mental illnesses are just things that people should get over on their own, like OCD and Depression and Bipolar and apparently Eating Disorders. She thinks medicine (and therapy) is a crutch. I fucking hate that argument. If you have a broken leg, you use a crutch, if you have diabetes you use insulin, so what the hell is wrong with using Zoloft or Therapy if it's your mind that is ill?

She says people get dependent on it to be happy and that people should just be able to "look inside themselves" to find their happiness. What hippie bullshit. The pills don't make me happy. It's not fucking marijuana. I'm not high on Zoloft. They just make it so the rest of the world isn't crushing down on my. They allow me to see the paths toward happiness.

Maybe it's a good thing she's going to Hawaii, because honestly I'm a little tired of her. Which sounds terrible but we just don't have that much in common anymore. Plus I spend all my time worrying for her, which isn't healthy for me. I told her that I don't want to hear about her problems with Eating anymore because if she's not going to get help then that's just self-destructive behaviour and until she realizes that there is nothing I say that's going to help so I don't want to hear her bitch anymore.

When did friendship get so hard? Can we go back to being 7 and the most complicated thing about being friends was whether or not to share your cookie at lunch?
straightrhodes: (True Story yo!)
// I caught the flu last week. Fabulous. But I'm better now, so yay?

// It's Spring Break and I've done nothing. Mainly because I'm still getting over being sick.

// Got a hair cut last Saturday. I only got about two inches cut off but damn does my hair seem shorter D: Still I had to get my discolored and broken ends off.

// Shit I have a lot to accomplish. I have about three fics I need to be working on. School work (blargh). Cleaning my room. Dying my hair. Painting my bathroom. Ugh. SO MUCH TO DO!

// Erin got in to the University of Hawaii. I'm happy and really sad at the same time. I don't want her to leave me! I have so much trouble making friends and she's been my friend for over ten years now. My best friend for five! Plus two of my other really close friends are leaving too. Sabrina is moving to Georgia to study Botany and Laurel is, well I'm not sure where she's going but she wants to get a job out of town. When did all my friends start growing up into responsible adults?

// Speaking of Sabrina, her Bridal shower is in a week and a half. In Louisville. Jeez. That's over an hour away. Becca is hosting so I guess that's why but shouldn't the Bridal shower be in the same city as the bride? I still need to find a dress for the wedding as well.

// So I'm kinda over the whole Japan trip thing. I figure it would have been cancelled any way what with the Earthquake and Tsunami and all. All of my friends in Japan are fine. Fumiko (who lives in Tokyo) said her house shook terribly but other than that nothing. The rest of my friends live either on the west coast or down south. I've already made donations to the Red Cross. I'd offer something for auction, but real life, you know?

// Since the Japan trip is cancelled indefinately (meaning my school is no longer going to offer it) I decided to look again at some other trips. I've decided that I'm going to try for a 8 week internship in London next summer (2012). I'm hoping they'll have an internship with a museum I could do.

// So I've decided instead of lanquishing this summer to take up the Cello again. I used to play years ago and I loved it but circumstances prevented me from continuing. I'm going to find a private tutor and take up lessons again. I fear I've forgotten all I know, and of course I don't have my cello any more, but I'm really looking forward to it. Now I just need to find a teacher, haha.

// I may go on a trip with Erin this summer too, if she doesn't get a job with one of the National Parks like she wants. Erin is turning a little weird though. Maybe it's a good thing she's leaving because I'm not sure how long a shared background and proximity would have kept us as friends after all. She doesn't believe in taking medicine or eating chemicals (I take a ton of medication and I get the distinct impression that Erin does not approve of my hormone pills or my anti-depressants, she once implied that depression and OCD was something that people 'just needed to get over'). She's super animal-rights (I buy free range and organic when I can but frankly I want to solve human rights issues (such as human trafficking!)) She once told me that animal cruelty was in the same league as child pedophile! NO! NOT AT ALL! To be perfectly honest I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Erin has moved to a commune or something. It's getting that weird. Erin has never been very pragmatic though, and that's irritating. I'm a very pragmatic person at the end of the day.

// Going to IKEA and Anthropologie this weekend with my mom. We love IKEA so much, haha. We're such weirdos. Hahah.

// Tomorrow is St. Paddy's day. Do I own any green?

// Finally broke down and bought a year long paid membership. It's so nice not having any pesky ads.

// Yesterday Sabrina asked me if I was bringing a date to her wedding. I looked at her and said, "What on earth makes you think I'm bringing a date?". In the four years I've been at college I've been on two dates. When I mentioned that to my mom she said "Really? It's been that many?" Thanks mom. Apparently guys find me terrifying (according to Eric my gay friend). Maybe I should become a lesbian. I'm constantly being hit on by lesbians.
straightrhodes: (Default)
So that midterm I didn't get to finish and was pissed about? I got 100% with the 2 pt curve. She gave the curve so at least one person would get a 100. Does that mean I set the curve? o.O

I'm so fucking obsessed with Sherlock (BBC). I love it so much. Holy shit, everyone needs to watch this. Everyone. No exceptions.

Bought the Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes today (Vol. 1 and 2). I read the first novel of it a long time ago but now I'm going to read everything. It's amazing how many books and stories there are out there of Sherlock Holmes not written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Finally got a mix finished and posted. It's a mix of creepy music and can be found at my comm [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks.

I swear I have been working on our fic, [livejournal.com profile] daigranon! I wrote a thousand words today, I did! I'm just so busy with midterms, *sob*

I need a new iPod. I filled mine up. Apparently it can only hold 200 albums. Not enough!!!!

Ever since my bestie Erin started going to a dietician and turned vegan she's been a health nut. I mentioned that I usually eat a Nutrigrain bar for breakfast and she's all "Those are packed with sugar!" and then me and Sarah were talking about how much we loved movie theater popcorn with lots of butter and Erin said "All those chemicals and preservatives are so bad for you!". Shit, I'm pretty sure at this point I'd go in to some kind of withdrawal if I don't have chemicals and preservatives. I'm happy for her and all for being healthy or whatever, but seriously, don't get in between me and my preservatives.

Welcome to [livejournal.com profile] le_prince_lutin who not only shares my love of Sherlock, but also music (including instrumental(esp. Cello)), good theater, travel, and Sherlock (it deserves to be said twice).
straightrhodes: (Crown)
Finished my Anthropology of Tourism paper 3 hours before it was due, yes! I wrote about the Tourist Gaze in Relation to the American Museum of Natural History in D.C. Yeah, that was the title of the paper, haha.

Got a 96% on my Soft Power and the Japanese Tea Ceremony Test, not too shabby.

Super Duper excited about mine and [livejournal.com profile] daigranon's KHR/WC cross. We've started writing it now. Eeeeee!

I hope to complete a mix or two this weekend. I haven't really worked on anything other than my HW the past two weeks.

My dog got a haircut. He's now Nekkid. Seriously. It had been so long since we took him that his furr got matted and they had to shave him really close. Pierre is also really fat now. I find it funny.

Went out to a Chinese/Japanese restuarant called Fulin's last weekend for a friends Birthday. One of my friends is ethnically Korean, but she was adopted by a white couple. Our Chinese waitress started speaking to her in Mandarin asking if she wanted the special menu, we said yes once we realized what she wanted. It had all sorts of weird things not on the normal menu. We tried the Twice Cooked Pork. It was really good!

Me and my bestie had a huge, huge fight. Almost ended out friendship fight, but then we started talking (via text so we couldn't yell and had to think about what we were going to say) and we realized that both of us felt like the other wasn't respecting us and ur feelings. (That sentence seems weird, hmm). Well apparently we had some issues that we just hadn't talked about until finally we couldn't take it anymore. Luckily we realized this and we both really want to make up with the other, so we've been talking in person and I think things are going to be better than before.

Went to my endocrinologist, he still sucks. MAKE ME BETTER ALREADY!

I finished a story, but the ending is weak! I need a beta to help me make it better! It's a KHR Gen fic, and it's short. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!

I am addicted to the games on my phone. It's ridiculous.

Sprained my ankle again yesterday. Slipped on the stairs of the Fine Arts Building at school.

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