Welcome!

Sep. 11th, 2011 09:48 pm
straightrhodes: (wc | high five!)
// I want to welcome [livejournal.com profile] dancy_dreamer, [livejournal.com profile] acquiescence_, [livejournal.com profile] biodarkness, [livejournal.com profile] ladyknightanka, and [livejournal.com profile] oddlyfamiliar from the Suits Friending Meme. Enjoy my journal full of school bitching and fandom stuff, yay!

// Speaking of Suits - Why am I so obsessed with you? Besides the fact you're awesome. And Donna. Can't forget Donna. But seriously if you're on my F-list and don't watch this show what are you waiting for? GO WATCH IT I still can't believe the season is ending after only 12 episodes. SO UNFAIR And we have to wait a YEAR for more. It's like Sherlock BBC all over again. MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE AND THEN BREAKING MY HEART! or in Suits-speak IT'S LIKE MY SOUL HURTS

// Yeah, I'm pretty damn obsessed with this show. I've actually managed to write for it and everything!!! I'm so excited!!! It's the first time since my mom died that I feel motivated to write AND I DIDN'T EVEN HATE IT WHEN I WAS DONE! The story is below this entry. I also have a WIP up at the Meme too. It's a florist!AU and I'm afraid I've bitten off quite a bit with it, but I'm having fun. I'm actually having fun with my writing again.

// Real life stuff! I've decided to drop from full time student to part time this semester. I just can't handle a full course load right now. My emotions are all over the place. I almost broke my cell phone because it wouldn't send a text message yesterday. I went from perfectly fine to APOCALYPTIC RAGE in about .5 seconds flat.

// Now for something more fun. I'M GOING TO SUGOICON AGAIN THIS YEAR! YAY! Got the room booked already and everything. I think I'm going to need something just fun to look forward to.

// I need a new profile code but I'm too lazy~ to make my own. Any suggestions of comms to find some?

// I really want to start playing an MMORPG again, but I don't know which I should try. I also thought about just trying a regular RPG for PC. Any suggestions?

// I think this is the best I've felt since Mom died.
straightrhodes: (Default)
Title: Death By Facsimile
Series: USA Suits
Rating: PG
Words: ~1750
Characters/Pairing: Mike, Donna. GEN
Warnings: Evil fax machines?
Notes: For [livejournal.com profile] phreakycat in response to this prompt on the Suits Kink-Meme.
Summary: Mike is terrible with technology, and the fax machine is out to kill him.

Mike is terrible with technology )
straightrhodes: (wc | coffee timez)
God, I fucking suck. I'm sorry I have so totally failed when it comes to posting and commenting and shit. I actually do usually read everyone's entries, but something about commenting or even replying to my own comments just seems so hard. Which is so utterly ridiculous. Somehow just getting up the motivation to do anything that requires putting my thoughts down in coherent words is completely beyond me it seems.

That segues nicely in to my topic: grieving fucking sucks. You know that five stages of grief idea? Yeah, that's complete and utter bullshit. DON'T BELIEVE IT~

I'll tell you how grief works.

You'll be completely fine one minute, and then you're totally blindsided by this overwhelming feeling of sad. It's not even sorrow because that's the first couple weeks when everything in the world makes you cry. This isn't sharp like that. Just a bone deep feeling of sadness that's always waiting for a quiet moment to sneak up and wrap around your heart so all you feel is 'I miss them. I hate this. I wish they were here.'. So you never want those quiet moments. You try to stay busy and distracted because if you sit and you think you just get drowned in all these feelings.

Feelings suck.

And you know, sometimes it still doesn't seem real. And it's not denial. I know it's real and she's gone and I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or hug her again.

The days just keep marching on and before you even realize it you're building a new life without them because it never stops even when they're gone.

Shit. I didn't mean for this to be all about my mom again.

So since I'm having such trouble with my writing I'm thinking about trying to write for some of the Kink Memes that are around. I probably would not be writing the actual kinky stuff, because I think I would die of spontaneous combustion should I try, but maybe trying to write short little things for prompts will get me back in the creative mood. Do any of you have any prompts for me? I'll write for Suits, Sherlock, White Collar, KHR, and a handful of other things. Mostly Gen.

School is going well. I'm liking Italian, even if I can't roll my r's.

I'll be going to SugoiCon in November. I just booked my room. I'm so excited but I'm not sure I'll be cosplaying this year.
straightrhodes: (anatomy | skeleton back)
Holy cheese logs! Has it really been so long since I last posted? *checks lj* Yes, yes it has.

Oops.

So my trip to New York was amazing and wonderful and also very hot and humid. But I'm used to that seeing as I LIVE IN THE SWEAT LODGE KNOWN AS KENTUCKY! sorry it's just really hot here today

I'll make a separate post about my trip once I get my photos ready. And this time I mean it! probably

In other news: Classes started today. I only have Italian on Monday/Wednesday, it looks much easier than Japanese. Tomorrow I have Italian (it's a m/t/w/r class), Art of Edo Era Japan, Art of the Enlightenment, and Art Objects of Asia. Too many classes in one day! I'm not sure why but all the art history classes are on t/r for some reason.

I think I'm going to like this semester. Dr. Allaire is the Italian teacher and she was really nice when I talked to her about potentially having panic attacks in class and needing to leave. Dr. Maske teaches two of my other classes and he's really nice and likes me. I don't know the last person but it's hard to imagine she won't be understanding.

Music: Obsessing over Christina Perri atm. Also working on a Sherlock/John mix

Writing: So before the accident I had some stuff. That stuff vanished along with the hard drive I had it on, probably lying in pieces on the Ohio interstate. Now I can't write anything that is not COMPLETE AND UTTER SHIT! It's like all my inspiration and motivation has flown out the window! I guess that's not surprising with everything that's happened though.

Mom Stuff: Still missing mom of course. I could almost swear I feel sadder now than I did before, but I'm sure that's not true. This Saturday is my parents anniversary, the first since she died. I don't think my dad will handle it well. We'll probably take flowers to the grave. I'll cry. Dad'll cry. My brother'll cry. God, when do things start getting better?
straightrhodes: (suits | mike busy)
Gonna be busy this next week~

Today:
Dinner with Laurel
Erin's Going Away Party

Tomorrow:
Grocery Shopping
Purchase CityPASS

Monday:
Paperwork
Bank
Dry Cleaners

Tuesday:
Laundry
Thor movie

Wednesday:
Hair Appointment

Thursday:
Nail Appointment

Friday:
Pack for trip!

Saturday:
Really, seriously pack for trip!
Travel to Ashland

Sunday:
Train to NEW YORK CITY!

Probably more will be added to this as I think of it.
straightrhodes: (500 days | holy shit)
|| So I went to see Cowboys & Aliens as well as Bridesmaids at a drive in theatre the other night. It was my first time to a drive in and I liked it for these reasons:

1. It's cheap. 5 dollars to see two movies!
2. You can sneak in you're own drinks/food. Meaning we snuck in booze.
3. You can talk during the movie. I am notoriously bad about this, and so is Erin (who I went to the theatre with).

Now my mini reviews, that endeavor not to give anything away:

Cowboys & Aliens
Really quite good! I was surprised how much I liked this movie. Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford were perfect in their roles, obviously, but the supporting cast was equally good. The movie is very engaging right from the beginning. You're on the edge of your seat wanting to know what's going to happen. There are quite a few surprising moments or plot points that you just have to go 'I did not see that one coming'. You really start to care for the characters, which is nice, and it's very easy to hate the aliens, which is always important for me. I like clearly defined bad guys.

Bridesmaids
Good movie. Not really at all like the previews, they never make it to Vegas like they imply in the ads for it. There were a few parts I could have done without. I think they could have cut back on language and grossness and have made just as fulfilling a movie rated PG-13. Overall though you like the man character and root for her, and it is funny.

Otherwise in life:

|| Lots of paperwork to fill out for the insurance people, and the retirement committee I'm suppose to get a stipend from. I can't even finish it because I need to go see my doctor and my banker for more information, annoying!

|| Finally have the big details of the New York trip settled. Got the Hostel, the train tickets, and a City Pass.
straightrhodes: (misc | megane)
Jeez LJ has sucked shriveled old balls the past few days. Trying to post anything has been a bitch and a half, so I gave up, lol.

About Me:

I'm doing well. My scrapes and bruises are healing quite fast. However I bruised my coccyx and that's just a pain in the ass. Ba-dum-cha. (Terrible jokes are my way of coping.)

Emotionally I'm, well not okay exactly but not terribly depressed either. I'm sad, obviously, but it's not depression. After so many years dealing with it I can tell the difference. I don't feel hopeless or lethargic or like I can't laugh or be happy. I just miss my mom. I want to talk to her. That's what I miss most, talking with her. We talked everyday no matter where we were. Even when I was in Japan we talked every single night. I could tell her anything. I don't have anyone like that now. Other than that it's all the lost possibilities that get to me. She'll never see me graduate or get a real job or get married or buy a house or have kids. Never see my kids do those things.

In other news I've been trying to go out and do things, especially with my friends. That seems to shock people. So does the fact I'm not crying ten times a day. Ok, yeah, I could stay in bed all day and cry, I could. But that's not going to help me feel better, and it's not what my mom would want. Plus I don't see where anyone else gets off telling me how I should grieve for my mom.

So far I've seen two movies in theatres the past two weeks;

1. Captain America - Awesome movie, even though it does feel like a prequel (it basically is).
2. Horrible Bosses - OMG I laughed so hard. I haven't laughed this hard since, I don't even remember. Excellent movie. I would say it's not for anyone under 16 though. Heed that R rating!

Tomorrow I see two more movies at the drive in: Cowboys & Aliens and Bridesmaids (yeah, I don't know why they're pairing those two but since I wanted to see them both and the drive in is cheap, meh)

I've also gone out for dinner a couple times and I might go see the Black Lips in concert on Tuesday, might.

Trying to plan the rest of my New York trip too. Any ideas?

Fandom wise I have been out of the loop. Need to get caught up on everything, except for the awesomeness that is Burn Notice and my newest obsession Suits. And those are only because On Demand tv exists, lol.

EDIT: I forgot, new mix up at [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks. It's titled Death (& what comes after)

Vacay time!

Jul. 1st, 2011 10:50 am
straightrhodes: (misc | fuck I love shoes)
// Leaving today for vacation! We'll be heading up to the Adirondacks and Lake George then we'll be going to Cape Cod. We won't be back until the 17th.

// The house does not have internet unfortunately. However I will have my Smart Phone with me and it does get the internet. LJ is actually pretty easy to use on my phone so I'll still be around, maybe.

// Non-Vacation News: Since Sabrina couldn't make it to my party we went out for dinner at out favorite Indian place, where she insisted on paying and we went through a whole ordeal when the check came. Before that I went to her house to buy some Depression Glass that she had. She collects the stuff but she said she had way too much of it so she was selling some. It's very pretty. I bought Pink Madrid cake plates/saucers and Iridescent Normandie cake plates/saucers. We bought a large serving bowl too but Sabrina didn't know what pattern it was.

// Got a new mani/pedi done. My nails are bright blue and my toes are bright purple. I like bright colors, lol.

// I bought two new dresses! I love dresses xD

// I have officially met my goal of losing 10 pounds this summer! Now I want to try to lose 5 more before I got to New York!

// Finally got a hostel booked for New York. It took forever to find a place! Everywhere was booked it seemed! Me and Laurel decided on spending 4 full days there. We'll be gone 6 days though because the train is a full day (13-14 hours) each way.
straightrhodes: (khr | this means nothing)
// I promised ya'll a better post today and as it's 10:30 I figure I should get on that, lol.

// My party was a lot of fun. Sabrina and Jamil got stuck in Georgia and couldn't make it, and Alec had to work. Laurel came down from Ashland though, which is a two hour drive so that was great. We went for Chinese food. Which was very yummy. And then had frozen yogurt, which was also very yummy.

// I said no gifts but Sarah gave me something anyway.

Sarah is an artist and she made this print. It's a Dirigible Whale. I love it. I'm gonna get it framed.

// I leave Friday to go on vacation. I'll be gone more than two weeks. During that time I'll mostly be using my phone to read stuff and make updates. Occasionally I might go somewhere with wifi though. I'm excited. We're going to the Adirondacks first then to Cape Cod. Should be fun.

// I'm going to try really hard to have a new mix up before I go. NO PROMISES!

I WANT NEW MUSIC FOR THE TRIP! SUGGEST MUSIC TO ME! I LIKE EVERYTHING!
straightrhodes: (text | don't keep calm)
So you all know how I've been having problems with Erin lately. Well eventually she told my she wasn't coming to my Birthday party because she needed to pack for her move THAT'S NOT UNTIL AUGUST! We emailed back and forth (her calling my a bitch at one point) and she said she would come if it was so important to me at which point I told her not to bother because we were both clearly upset and neither of us would enjoy it.

A couple hours later I decided that enough was enough. Erin hasn't been a real friend to me in about a year. Has in fact been incredibly rude and hurtful at times. So I wrote her a message saying that I thought it would be best if we didn't hang out or talk for a while.

I made sure to state that:

1. We were both at fault
2. Neither of us were happy
3. We had grown up in to different people than we were at 11
4. I still care for her and will always love her
5. I hope we could be friends again one day
6. It wasn't a personal attack against her

She sent me back a message I can only describe as hateful (and largely untrue). The main bullet points:

1. She wasn't apologizing because she had apologized enough
- Truth: I never asked her to apologize in my letter, and I can't even remember the last time she apologized to me even though I apologized to her all the time.

2. I apparently think I never make mistakes
- Truth: I stated in my letter three times that I too was part of the problem, that it wasn't all on her

3. Finally you got the message that I was tired of you
- Truth: She's constantly inviting me to do things. Also, that's just plain mean to say

4. One of the main reasons I was keeping up with you there for awhile was because you were storing my stuff at your house
- Truth: I stored upwards of twenty-five boxes of stuff at my house for her, in the garage and my dining room, for almost two years. Free of charge. It was constantly in the way even though I assured her several times it was fine. I have never asked her for a favor of that magnitude. I once asked her to pet sit and paid her 12 dollars a day to do it.

5. I felt I could tell you my problems, but you betrayed me by telling your mom.
-Truth: I listened to her bitch and moan and whine over everything from money, to class, to her mother/boyfriends/other friends, to her eating-disorder-she-refused-to-call-an-eating-disorder, to her job, everything. When I tried to talk about my problems she refused to listen. And yeah I told my mom. Telling my mom is like telling my shrink. Plus sometimes I was concerned about her and thought getting the advice of an adult would be best.

6. I never considered you my best friend and never told you as to not hurt your feelings
- Truth: Whether she admitted it or not I was her best friend. I was the one she went to for help, and who did her favors, and listened to everything. And actually every time she got mad at me she pulled that one out.

7. You think the world owes you everything just because you are who you are
- Truth: Everything I have I either worked hard for or my parents did. Erin's parents on the other hand were losers who didn't go to college when the could have (Her mom had a full scholarship and didn't take it so she could mess around being a hippie). Erin now thinks that the government and her colleges should provide her everything because of her parents low income. I get no financial aid and no help from the school.

8. I was trying to be the mature adult and be nice to you
- Truth: One, it's not mature to be attacking me like this, and two, being a mature adult isn't about hiding your feelings but talking about them calmly and rationally.

9. I've gone through a few friend break-ups so one more isn't going to hurt me
- Truth: This was my first. And I'm actually still friends with most of the people she 'broke up' with. What does that say about her?

10. I'm sorry Sabrina's moving away, now you two can't talk about me and you'll be lonely
- Truth: Me and Sabrina don't just talk about her, she has been awful to Sabrina (who is just about the kindest person ever) and I do have several other friends at university. She wasn't my only friend by a long shot. Nice vanity there.

Later that day she sent me a message saying she was going to come to my birthday party after all because she had already been in the mindset that she was going to go (wtf does that even mean?) and didn't see my previous message as any reason not to.

I texted back that No, she's no longer invited, and I would not let her sit at the table and it would cause a scene that would embarrass us both.

She called me childish.

I responded that I was too upset to see her that night.

She said fine, but I better have a good reason to tell people why she wasn't there.

Only one person asked, I said she couldn't make it, and we didn't mention her the rest of the night.

Now I am thoroughly exhausted of her. I didn't reply to her big long hate message and still won't and this is the last time I will mention her on LJ. I don't need such a poisonous person in my life.

I feel a little better having purged all this though.

Tomorrow I'll post a normal entry with stuff about my party and other things. I just had to get this off my chest.
straightrhodes: (Default)
// A lot's been going down. Let me enumerate for you. (I may be slightly tipsy.)

// Made a Catbook for my cat. Clearly my boredom is reaching epic levels. Epic.

// Finished up another mix. This one is a Steampunk inspired gen mix. So if you like wearing corsets and drinking tea you should get this mix to listen too whilst you are wearing your corsets and drinking your tea. You can get it at [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks.

// Went to Cincy last weekend for a Red's game. They lost. And it rained. However we had a truly fabulous meal at Hofbrauhaus, which none of us could pronounce so we just started calling it Hausfrau instead. Over all it was a good night. Even when Sabrina insisted on using my phone to texts Sarah's husband that I had somehow magically gotten her pregnant with the power of German beer and my mind (or something).

// We'll be heading to the Cape in a week and a half. I always enjoy my time there. I just get really nostalgic about the place. I'd post up a picture of the house my father's family owns but I don't actually have one on this computer. It's a nice house even if it was built in 1930 and has no air conditioning.

// Because I'll be on the Cape I won't be home for my 22nd birthday, and man do I feel old. Since I won't be home I decided to have a party early. We're going to eat at a place called Asian Wind and then maybe get some fro-yo. I'd forgotten that we'd eaten there for my 18th birthday too. In the photo I have my hair is so short!

// Mom scampered off to NC. She tried to make me go too and I said no way.

// Still trying to plan out New York.

// I've lost 8 pounds!!!!
straightrhodes: (misc | gators)
\\ Been busy the past few days trying to figure out my schedule for the summer, SO I JUST REALIZED IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I LAST POSTED! Sorry!

\\ I have been playing a lot of The Sims 3 since I just got the new Generations expansion. I get crazy obsessed with this game, haha.

\\ I have been trying to write but I think I have writers block or something. Well, not exactly writers block, because I can write. It's just I HATE EVERY FREAKIN' THING I MANAGE TO TYPE!

\\ So this weekend I'm going to Cincy to see a Reds Game. It's gonna be me, Sabrina & Jamil, Sarah, her husband Justin, and two of their kids. So yeah, I'm kinda like the odd man out but it was my idea in the first place SO I REFUSE TO FEEL AWKWARD!

\\ So New York with Laurel is totally on. We plan to leave August 13th and take the train. We hope to have between 3 and 5 full days there. Any ideas for what we should do?

\\ CHECK OUT MY ICON!!!!! I love it so ridiculously much.

Urgh

Jun. 3rd, 2011 06:33 pm
straightrhodes: (text | f*ck is always apropos)
So sorry I haven't posted in so long! But I come baring excuses reasons:

1. On the way home from Mamaw's someone stole my wallet out of my car at a shell station in Tennesee. SOMEONE STOLE MY FUCKING WALLET! Everything just gone! 100 dollars cash, all my credit cards, my debit card, my id, my uni id, everything.

2. So I've been trying to replace all of it and in the meantime all I can do is bum my mother's debit card whenever I need anything.

3. Hung out with Laurel before she left to start her internship. We saw Source Code which is actually really, really good. I was surprised how interesting it was. We also discussed our plans to go to New York City in August (which will be incredibly, awfully hot but is the only time we both have free).

4. Still trying to work things out at Ashland for my internship. The wallet fiasco distracted me.

5. I am tired. Just tired. I will try to have a better post up soon.
straightrhodes: (poke | pikachu mustache)
\\ Leaving to visit my grandmother tomorrow. I'll be gone a week to Golden Valley, NC. Also known as THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. For serious. I will not have cell reception while I'm there, and no internet. Unless of course I drive the thirty minutes to Marion. In which case I can get online with my phone. I MIGHT DRIVE TO MARION JUST TO GET AWAY FROM MY GRANDMOTHER. She is wonderful and I love her but she drives me batty.

\\ So tomorrow I have SIX FREAKIN' HOURS WORTH OF DRIVING TO DO! All by my lonesome~ Thank god I can hook my iPod up to my car stereo.

\\ I don't really know what I'm going to do in NC. Probably play a lot of The Sims. Also work on some fics. Maybe rewatch the entire first season of Sherlock? Also whatever my Mamaw tells me to do.

\\ It's raining here. Why is it raining here? That makes me sad :(

\\ OMG! Completely random but did anyone watch the season finale of Bones? I nearly died, for serious.

\\ I've had crazy insomnia the last 5 nights. I started on a birth control pill to try and regulate my hormone levels and I think it might be keeping me up. However the insomnia is slowly getting better so I think I'll be okay.
straightrhodes: (Default)
|| The Wedding is over! OMG! i die

|| The wedding was beautiful and perfect, now let me explain my day to you all.

8 am - Wake Up, shower, do hair, make up, sew belt loop on dress, get dressed
9:20 - Leave, drive to church, eat a nutrigrain bar in car
9:55 - Arrive at Church
10 - Melissa and Hannah (bridesmaid and maid of honor respectively) ask if I can drive to Sabrina's mother's house to get the flower girl flowers that were left in the fridge. It's a half hour drive each way. The wedding starts at 11.
10:05 - I leave church and speed all the way across town
10:55 - I arrive back at church with flowers. First thing Erin says when I walk in the church, "About time! Where were you? I've had to do everything myself!" To which I reply that I had to go get the flowers (that are obviously in my hand). She rolls her eyes
11 - Wedding. So beautiful. I almost cried
11:30 - Leave church (again) and drive to reception site
12:00 - Find out I've been stuck with Erin and her friend (loser friend, it needs to be said) Tyler at a table. Luckily there are also two strangers I can talk to as well. I have my first glass of wine
12:30 - Sabrina and Jamil Arrive. They announce arrival of special guest that we have been told about since March. No one knows who this is except Sabrina and Jamil and their parents and Hannah. The guest? Abraham Lincoln. They brought in an impersonator. He gave a speech. It was epic.
1:00 - We eat. It was yummy. I have my second glass of wine.
1:45 - Cake. It was also yummy. I switch to coke.
2:00 - Toasts and speeches. I have my third glass of wine.
2:15 - First dance. Austen leaves to get in to Gorilla suit. Comes back as a gorilla in a tux jacket. I am not even joking. The reception gets even more epic when inflatables are thrown on to the dance floor. These include a bass, a dinosaur, a moose head, and a cooked turkey inflatables. We all proceed to act stupid and play 'Keep off the floor' with the inflatable turkey.
3:00ish - Becca and Hannah are thanking me for 'saving the wedding' or at least Sabrina's sanity that morning. I ask if Erin knew what I was doing. They say yes she did. I get pissed off. I have my fourth glass of wine.
3:10ish - I find Erin complaining about me not helping her in the church that morning to Sarah, who had been late to the wedding herself helping to set up the reception area and decorate the wedding cake. I snap at Erin "I was getting the flowers. You know that. It was thirty minutes to Dr. Lawler's house and then thirty minutes back! I managed to do it in 50, counting the time it took to find the flowers in the house!. I was there at 9:55, you didn't show up until 10:20, 20 minutes later than Sabrina asked you and you've been complaining about not getting to sleep in on a Saturday, so please stop acting so put upon and lying to people!" Erin gets pissy and storms off. Sarah rolls her eyes and asks me if I'm okay and says not to take Erin seriously because they all know I've done a lot more for Sabrina and for the wedding than Erin has.
3:20ish - I switch to water and then dance with Austen (still in the gorilla suit), and Daisuke (who's wearing a yukata). Erin glares at me cause Daisuke is her ex. (which might be why I danced with him)
3:40ish - Seth, Chase, and Austen seranade Sabrina and Jamil to the tune of 80's pop hit, that I can not for the life of me remember now.
3:50 - Bouqet gets tossed. Everyone unmarried (male, female, divorced, widowed whatever) has to try and catch as per Sabrina's order. Jamil's dad catches it.
4 - I leave to go home.

||In short, it was pretty much the greatest wedding I've ever been to. Erin and her self-centeredness non-withstanding. I don't know what the hell Erin's problems are but she's been getting worse and worse. Everyone has noticed. Sabrina said at her bachelorette's party that she wished she hadn't made Erin an usher and had made Sarah one instead. All Erin cares about is herself. She had the audacity to snap at Sabrina at Sabrina's reception for telling someone that Erin was vegan. She was telling Jamil's dad, who is also vegan. Erin said that Sabrina shouldn't be telling her business.

||Ugh. I've already started distancing myself from Erin because it's just not worth it anymore. I kind of can't wait for her to be gone.

|| Now, art! I haven't drawn in ages but I doodled these two things while waiting for my mom one day. They aren't very good and I drew them in a tiny 4 inch by 2 inch note book and then took photos with my phone, but still, ART!
Cut for your convience )

|| Finally, I have a new mix up at [livejournal.com profile] robbing_banks. It's a mix for Moriarty from Sherlock BBC.
straightrhodes: (misc | Fuck I love shoes)
Sorry I haven't been around the past couple of days. I've been preparing for Sabrina's Wedding and all the other stuff involved.

I found an awesome pair of gold shoes and a cute matching clutch, so outfit wise I'm all set.

I am pissed about my face though! I KEEP BREAKING OUT ON MY CHIN! Grrr. What am I? 14 again? Shit it sucks.

Sabrina is freaking out. She's so stressed out and every little thing causes her to burst in to tears. I think she's going to give herself an ulcer before tomorrow is over. Her stressing out is causing me to stress out.

Tomorrow is the wedding though so everything will be over soon. I wake up at 8 to be ready at 9 just in case Sabrina needs me for something. I'll be at the church by 10 and the ceremony starts at 11. Then we all move to the reception at a country club. That lasts until 4. I'm hoping I don't have to stay the whole time because my shoes will be killing my feet by then, haha. I'm only an usher (although my role is a lot more than a typical usher) so hopefully no one will mind if I bail out early.

I'll try to get some photos at the reception. If I remember my camera. I'll probably be freaking out so much tomorrow that I'll forget haha.
straightrhodes: (ppl | zooey shy smile)
I put up a new layout. I decided that I need something lighter and brighter for spring. What do you all think?

Thanks all for making me feel better. I'm glad I got that off my chest and now I'm feeling a lot more optimistic. This may or may not have something to do with the shopping spree me and my mom went on yesterday.

I'm hoping with that with break I'll have a chance to work on my writing more. It's a lot harder to work on fic when I know I have an anthropology paper I should be working on instead, haha.

I am almost done with a Moriarty mix, if you're in to the Sherlock fandom at all.

Shit I'm on a music spree right now. Been DL-ing some mixes, listening to a lot of stuff, coming up with all sorts of mix ideas. How can people not be as obsessed with music as me? I find this perplexing. I'm currently looping Greg Laswell and Michael Buble. They're soothing~

Been working on cleaning my room. It relaxes me so much, *sigh*. What doesn't relax me is the fact that my closet is full to bursting and I still have two laundry baskets worth of stuff to hang. flails and dies
straightrhodes: (anatomy | skeleton back)
The end of the semester just completely snuck up on me. I can't believe classes are over. What's up with that? Now I'm feeling all sad and shit because this is really the end of an era.

The biggest chunk of my college friends are leaving at the end of July. Erin's off to Hawaii. Sabrina's going to Georgia. I'm not sure where Laurel is going but she wants to find a journalism job. Chase is graduating. Kim is graduating. So many other people too. The only friends I'll have left, really friends, are Laura, Jennifer, and Sarah. And I'm just not as close to them as I want to be, as maybe I could be if I just manned up and tried a little harder.

I'm so afraid that I'm going to pull away from everyone, as is my wont to do, and just end up lonely, only communicating with my family. It's happened before. I need to try harder at making friends but I actually have a really hard time doing so. A horrible, awful 4th and 5th grade spent being teased by my whole class (their favorite name for me was The Germ) and alienated to the point that I just wanted to die at the age of ten made it so putting myself out there to strangers is nearly impossible. Honestly I've always relied on Erin, Erin's friends became my friends and how shitty is that? All she does anymore is piss me off and stress me out but I'm so scared I won't be able to get friends on my own if she leaves.

When did I become so pathetic?

Shit. I know part of this is just that we've been messing with my anti-depressants so my depression is getting the best of me again, but a lot of it is real concern too.

It doesn't help that my dad is always ragging on me. "Why don't you hang out with your friends on campus?" "Why don't you eat lunch with them?" "Why don't you go out more" He wants me to be more the 'typical college kid' which includes eating lunch with friends and wearing t-shirts and jeans everyday (gag me, just gag me). I know he just thinks that's what will make me happy because he remembers his undergrad years as being so great but it really grates on me how hard he pushes.

I'm so sorry to my flist for this stupid rant too but I think I just really needed to get it all out.

Now to make me feel better some things I'm looking forward to:
1. Sabrina and Jamil's wedding. Rehearsal is Friday, wedding Saturday. I'm so excited.
2. Working at Ashland, even if I'm not getting paid
3. Cape Cod (I go every year but I still really enjoy it, mostly)
4. New York City with Laurel (I hope, I hope, I hope)
5. Cleaning my room (I actually enjoy the process of doing this but haven't gotten around to it in um months.)
straightrhodes: (kuro | one of those days)
// Today was the last day of classes. I still have two finals next week and then it's bye bye spring semester.

// I'm so, so scared about my grades. OMG! I'm freaking out. I screwed up this semester by not going to class enough. Ugh. My heart is beating so fast.

// A lot happened this semester with me taking a look at what I really wanted in my education. So I'm not a Art History major rather than Anthropology.

// Feeling weird. Like a bittersweet feeling, hmm.

// It's hard to be excited when two of my friends are leaving in a couple months.
straightrhodes: (khr | get off my lawn!)
# Finally finished and posted that Sherlock fic. It ended up being more than 6500 words, haha. I found a truly wonderful lady to beta and brit-pick it for me. It really needed it too!

# OMG! School's almost over! *hyperventilates and dies*

# I have SO MUCH TO DO once school is over. It's all shit I've been putting of. (I've been using school as an excuse so I'll have to find a new one soon.)

1. Clean Room
2. Clean out fridge
3. Finish training at Ashland
4. Prepare for Sabrina's Wedding
5. Finish redecorating Bathroom
6. Buy new bed at Ikea (and you know, put it together)
7. Clean out closet
8. More (there is always more)

# Chinese project is going well I think. We're writing about two of director Zhang Yimou's movies, Raise the Red Lantern and Under the Hawthorn Tree. THEY ARE BOTH SO SAD!

# Me and Laurel hope to spend about 5 days in New York City this summer! OMG! It will be so much fun! I've never been. Every other major city on the East Coast I've been to but not NYC. I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT!

# Still training for interning at Ashland. I go on yet another tour tomorrow. Did you know one of Henry Clay's sons was commited to an Insane Asylum?

# ERIN IS DRIVING ME INSANE! And it's weird. I know she's not leaving till July but I already miss her. I think I miss how our friendship used to be. Now we have practically nothing in common and she stresses me out so much. I hate to say it but Erin's kinda a bad friend too. She goes on and on about her life and her problems, but I can't say anything about what stresses me out? I wonder if I'm not clinging to our friendship not for friendship's sake but for my memories.

Also: Who doesn't know what their hobbies are? I asked Erin what she likes to do and she couldn't answer me. How weird is that?

# It has been raining for 5 days. FIVE DAYS It's so depressing!

# Watched the first episode of Aoi no Exorcist. It was good. Maybe I should give the manga another go?

# Sorry to my flist for having to put up with so many rants, especially about Erin.

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